Addicted to heroine
My name is Vicky. I am 32. I was born and raised in Vologda in a middle class family. My mom worked in a store, father was a general manager of a construction company. Up to the ninth grade I had straight “A”s at school and was obedient daughter at home. Also I did 7 years of professional horseback riding.
In the mid 90’s dad started going on business trips and abuse alcohol which led to him loosing his job. At the same time I broke away from home and started spending lots of time on the streets. My only friends were boys. I was a tomboy. Guys taught me how to smoke, drink and cuss.
In the 1995 our gang started forging gas station receipts for truckers to steal their companies gas. All of a sudden there was lots of money. In two months we bought an old Ford, then more and more cars. Also we started smoking hashish.
In the 1997 I turned 18. At my birthday party I tried heroin for the first time. And I never stopped “trying” it out for the whole year daily. My friends now were different people. They were drugaddicts, people that loved heroin.
I was falling into a pit. One evening while I was sitting at home intoxicated a friend of mine came. He told me that heroin is nothing compared to ephedrine. He was talking about an ephedrine based drug that is made of over the counter medicine. The next 6 years of my life were lost in the ephedrine high.
Sometimes people say that love heals. I was stupid to believe this. At 24 I fell completely in love. Quit smoking, drinking and using drugs at once. I did not want my man to suspect I was an addict, but no one can hide this demon for very long.
At the age of 25 I gave birth to a baby boy. His dad came to hospital, saw the boy and disappeared from our lives. First 4,5 years I tried to play a role of devoted mother. Hiding from old friends and connections I tried to convince myself that I was free. There is a saying out there that drugs can wait. It was all true. I could not hide any longer. Because of family situation and need of money I started to work as a prostitute. Several years of my life went by too painful to recollect, too hard to forget and forgive…
2010 came around and I got pregnant again. Because I was injecting mixed drugs and powdered mixtures that were legal I contracted HIV. My health was deteriorating fast.
On the 1st of December in 2010 I entered hospital and was diagnosed with dystrophy and anemia. I looked aweful. In a few days, by caesarean section I gave birth to my baby girl. Now I had a daughter diagnosed with HIV, immunogram (complex immune system test) 2 times worse than mine, and pathology of the brain. Doctors predicted she would not live long and her short life was going to be in vegetative state. I was like a cornered wild animal. I did not want to live any more. It was the end.
Three days after operation a girl walked into my hospital room. She started sharing about love of God and that there was a totally new life. She spoke about a man by the name of Jesus Christ and His cross. I tried to ignore her words. I told her I wanted to get back to my hellhole and get high. At the same time my post operation suture would not heal because of low immune system.
With my height at 5’7’’ (174 cm) my weight was 94 lbs (43 kg). I looked simply terrifying.
Finally the day to leave hospital came. I was sitting on my bed waiting for the nurse with my documents. With temperature at 39 C (102,2 F) and a horrible pain in abdomen I was looking thru my phone contacts list and calling my friends…anybody…who knew where to get drugs. I know now that God was already fighting for me. No one answered. All phone numbers were turned off, inaccessible, blocked.
I remember as I walked along the hospital hallway I suddenly realized that I wanted to live! There and then I asked God to forgive me. I did not know how to pray but I said to him – “Lord, I know I am a horrible sinner, but that girl at the hospital told me that You love me. Please forgive me and give me one last chance!”
He did! I dialed that girl’s number. She brought me to the Potter’s House and I got gloriously saved. He did unbelievable miracles. My mom got saved, my relationships with relatives restored. But the major miracle was healing of my little daughter. God is faithful and He healed her of HIV and brain pathology. Today she is completely healed. Doctors smile and shrug. They have no explanation.
Today I am totally free from drugs. I work at a store, serve God in our church. I help other girls that come to our church out of a drug scene. In the church I found loving family at last. I am very happy and can’t stop thanking Jesus for his patience and love for me and my little girl.